BY MARY SAUNDERS

In the depths of winter everything may look dead, but the earth is simply resting, waiting for the right conditions for growth to return. Think of a seed, lying dormant in the cold winter soil. It stores within itself the nutrients and potential necessary for life. It waits until the conditions are right to germinate and begin the cycle of renewal. Humans are meant to experience dormancy in a similar manner. If we take time to be silent and still, and access our inner wisdom while we are waiting, we too can tap into the resources stored within as we embark upon new endeavors.

The ancient wisdom of Oriental medicine explains that this time of dormancy corresponds with winter and the Water phase. The Five Phases are metaphors for elemental qualities of energy that are constantly in relationship to one another in nature and within us. Water is the phase of ultimate yin, with the energy moving down away from the surface into the depths. This energy is tied to the deepest essence of the body, the marrow in our bones, the root of our being. It reflects our relationship to the unconscious mind, sexuality, power, financial resources, and the unknown. For many of us, these are challenging issues, to say the least. We may be intrigued by what lies within us, but also afraid of what may bubble up from the depths through dreams, memories, and images.

We may resist the discomfort of the unknown by staying busy and engaged in myriad pursuits, living on the surface to avoid the most profound parts of ourselves. Speaking with Donna, a successful software engineer, I hear her frustration. “I have worked extremely hard for many years in my career, but now I wonder, Why I am doing all this? I am not even sure this is what I want! More than anything, there is this sense that I am waiting for something so I can have my real life,” she says.

I guide her to turn her attention inward and to mindfully observe what comes up when I ask what she is waiting for. We hear many unexpected responses. I am waiting . . . until I am stronger . . . to be discovered . . . for permission . . . to have enough money . . . for approval . . . until I am sure what to do. And finally, she gets to the response that most resonates with her: I am waiting to be saved.

Many of my clients are shocked when they discover an unconscious core belief like this. “Waiting to be saved? Really? How is this possible? I am a modern, intelligent, independent person,” they say. However, this is not an uncommon response; I have heard many of my clients say this, and I have experienced it myself. It is really not so surprising in a culture that pushes the romantic ideal of the knight in shining armor or the perfect woman of our dreams, the enlightened spiritual teacher, powerful shaman, philanthropic organization, wealthy Oprah-style benefactor, or more recently, the group of scientists with new technology coming to save us from ourselves at the last dramatic moment.

These unconscious beliefs keep us from taking full responsibility for diving deeply and accessing the parts of ourselves that need to become conscious and then cultivated for us to live what is meaningful to us. Waiting, instead of being a beautiful and natural part of the cyclical rhythms in life, then becomes avoidance. Donna realized that the long hours focused on unfulfilling work and her unconscious beliefs about waiting were undermining her ability to move forward in her life.

I ask Donna to be mindful and notice what happens when she hears me say, “No one is coming to save you.” Her instant response? Relief! “I don’t have to wait anymore! I can do what I want, the way I want. I don’t have to wait until someone gives me permission or approval or money—none of it. I can do it now,” she says. She was surprised; she thought she would feel devastated that after waiting so long, no one was coming. But no, she felt energized by knowing she had to step up and own her power. Becoming more self-aware, even about blind spots or painful truths about one’s self, actually strengthens us. And Donna has remembered an enduring truth: now is the only time that exists. The potential for healing, growth, and transformation is available only in the present moment.

Winter and the energy of the Water phase support us to dive deeply into our depths. Now is the time to turn your awareness to the unknown and to your own unconscious mind, trusting they have something important to teach you. Ancient wisdom tells you to use your capacity for contemplation to face your fears and habitual patterns of avoidance and turn them into wisdom. You will not necessarily resolve all of your deep-seated issues; often that is just not possible, nor is it necessary. However, by shifting your awareness and coming into relationship with these issues, you garner self-knowledge and wisdom to use for your benefit as well as the healing of the world.

With over 25 years of experience in Oriental medicine, Mary Saunders is a practitioner, an educator, and a coach who speaks from a place of direct experience. She is the author of Rhythms of Change: Reclaiming Your Health Using Ancient Wisdom and Your Own Common Sense. MarySaundersHealth.com

BY MARY SAUNDERS

My friend Michelle lives a stressful life in the city, her days full of teaching, writing, and keeping up with an extensive social network. Now that the weather is turning, she seeks time for reflection as she leisurely walks her dog near her home in Brooklyn. “The world is burning around us. Migrants, refugees, typhoons, glacier melt, hurricanes, and desertification. But my mind of peace is the cool stillness, the pool in the middle of the fire,” she says. She finds the inner spaciousness she craves by moving slowly, allowing her dog to sniff and smell as much as he wants, and realizes she is happy, despite everything. In this ordinary moment Michelle is experiencing a perfect example of the traditional Oriental concept of yin and yang. The calming effects of feminine yin slowness and inner reflection balancing out the masculine yang fire of excessive activity in the world around her.

In Oriental medicine, health is understood as a state of balance, of harmonious relationship, between the yin and yang aspects of our being. Disease results when either of these forces is unbalanced, blocked, or stagnant. For example, good health demands that we balance yang activity and yin rest. This seems like common sense, yet the norm today is to lean into the masculine yang approach to life that moves us to constantly produce, strive, and build our businesses, our bodies, and our bank accounts. This is a worthwhile perspective, but in excess it leaves no room for the feminine yin that values receptivity, intuition, and simply being in relationship with our loved ones and with all of life. It is a law of nature that we live well only when the forces of yin and yang are both expressed and in harmony.

I have observed that, partially because of a culture that devalues a more yin, feminine relationship with life, women have distanced ourselves from nature, the body, and our inner knowing so effectively that we no longer remember how to access the common sense wisdom within us. We do not trust our own experience but look to others to tell us what only we can access within ourselves. This loss of connection to what is sacred and essential to our nature as women creates myriad forms of disease, physical as well as emotional, and has brought us to a way of living that in many cases no longer makes sense.

Central to the understanding of Oriental medicine is wu hsing, or the five phases of change. These phases are metaphors for elemental qualities of energy that are constantly in relationship to one another in nature and within us. Seasonally, the Metal phase is when we transition from the expansive yang energy of summer into the cooler, more inward yin energy of autumn.

However, this phase may manifest at any time in a person’s life due to a loss, an illness, or a longing for something that is calling them inward. The human body and psyche naturally respond to this time of contraction, and we retreat within to reflect on life’s happenings and our relationship to them.

For many of the women in my practice, inward reflection is unfamiliar, perhaps even scary and uncomfortable. We cannot overestimate how profoundly we are informed by cultural norms in this regard. Our yang, extroverted culture tells us to seek external stimulation and activity, to be always emotionally up and on. The seemingly solid ground of youth and outward expression are what this culture encourages and rewards, not the mature attitude of reflecting on the inner world. We may perceive our inwardness in the Metal phase as depression, when in reality we are simply following the natural movement of energy inward at this time.

Women resist the quiet spaciousness of inward reflection because we are afraid of what we may feel and come to know when we listen deeply to ourselves. Perhaps we will see that we have been avoiding an essential part of ourselves, or that we need to face the reality of a challenge at home, work, or in the world. We also believe, perhaps unconsciously, that there is something wrong or shameful about our feelings of sadness, loss, and longing or that they are “too much,” and we will be overwhelmed by them.

In reality, however, all of these feelings are natural and are essential aspects of our humanity. When we allow ourselves to experience them fully, we come into deeper relationship with the truth of who we are and can then move on with our lives, enriched by this knowing. Inner reflection increases our capacity to accept all of life, the sorrow as well as the joy, and to understand our connections, hopes, and needs. Sadness helps us be aware of our sensitivity and the part of us that cares deeply. When women are attentive to the rhythms of their inner landscape, they tell me that even though at times it may be painful, they feel stronger, more compassionate, and more fully themselves as a result.

In my coaching practice, I encourage women to use journaling as a powerful technique for inner reflection. In a quiet place where you will be undisturbed, close your eyes and breathe into your belly. Feel into yourself and simply write down your dreams and thoughts or use the following inquiries to get you started:

• » What is most important to you now?
• » What are the essential qualities you need to be fulfilled?
• » What awakens the deep longing within you?
• » What inspires you, and what do you love?
• » What is your relationship to sadness and loss?
• » What is your way to contribute and give back to the world?
• » What behaviors and roles are you tired of? What do you need to let them go?

Writing frequently for even 10 minutes a day will keep the practice going and help you stay in touch with yourself. The writing doesn’t have to be pretty or nice—in fact, if it is, be suspicious! This is not the time to seek anyone’s approval or try to please; it is a time for honesty, awareness, and acceptance of what is true in your life. Your journal will be kept private, for your eyes only, so tell yourself the truth. You may be surprised by what is in there. When practiced regularly, journaling in this way will help you gain perspective and recognize patterns in yourself, eventually increasing your self-awareness and sense of your own wholeness.

With over 25 years of experience in Oriental medicine, Mary Saunders is a practitioner, educator, author, and coach who speaks from a place of direct experience. MarySaundersHealth.com